Getting What You Deserve
by Rainbow Moonshine
Summary: She had been wrong. And she was never wrong. He couldn't do more. He couldn't be more."....After Here Comes the Son. R


Title: Getting What You Deserve

Summary: She had been wrong. And she was _never_ wrong. He couldn't do more. He couldn't be more.

Rating: T...for mild language

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, Franny and Zoey, or anything else I have in here. Please don't sue me.

The waves crashed onto his sneakers, but he had patience. He remained calm, looking out into the orange sunset. He shifted his weight to the left, his shoe sinking deeper into the wet sand.

_California._

That's were he was. It was sunny _all_ the time. Never once did it rain. Never once did it snow. Never once did the temperature reach below 70 degrees. For several weeks he saw girls in bikini's, boys in shorts, surfers in the ocean, and ice cream melted on the ground. And truth be told, he hated it.

He hated the constant sunshine. He hated the happy people, smiling faces. He hated the smell of his father's hot dog stand. He hated that there was no snow. He hated getting tans and sun-burned. And truth be told, he hated that he couldn't see her face anymore.

_Rory._

He missed her. He missed her smiling face. Her bright blue eyes, and innocent smile. He missed her brown silky hair. He missed their discussions (although some would call them arguments) about Ayne Rand and Hemingway. He missed that her mother couldn't yell at him for being such a sucky boyfriend. He missed Luke's face everytime he caught them making out on the couch.

He walked along the shore, staring forward into the faded area many miles ahead of him. She had been wrong. And she was _never_ wrong. He couldn't do more. He couldn't be more. He wanted to have more, to do more, to _be _more.

This was the one of the things he had promised himself he wasn't going to do in California. A) he wasn't going to smoke. B) he wasn't going to take his father for granted C) he wasn't going to be a jerk, and D) he wasn't going to bitch about how screwy his life was. He had broken all but one of those promises so far. He wasn't taking his father for granted. He was working, a waiter. (at heart, it's his "passion") He tried to stop smoking, but the stress of trying to do better, made him start again. He also tried to stop being a jerk , for Sasha and Lily's sake, but he's pretty sure that he'll just be an asshole forever, no matter what.

_Asshole forever._

Maybe that's why he knew his relationship with Rory would never work. He was too much of an ass. She deserved more. She deserved more than him and his inability to have passion. But he did. He had passion for her. He loved her. He was sure she didn't know that. He was sure she thought that it was _her_ fault. He'll hate himself forever for that.

He walked away from the water, and into the cave he claimed as his own. It was nothing special- big rocks, lawn chair, grass, and sand. No one ever bothered to go in there. He was thankful for truly hated people who enjoyed the California atmosphere.

He thought about how he got to New York. How he stayed ended up staying with Jimmy and Sasha.

_"__And I thought maybe I could crash here for a little while." _

_"Uh huh." _

_"Just a little while. I don't need my own room or anything. I can just sleep on the couch."_

_"Or the extra mattress we keep in the closet."_

_"Sure, that'd be fine, too."_

_"You know, Sasha's always right. It drives me crazy. No matter what the situation, she's always right."_

_"Jimmy."_

_"I'd love to be right just once in awhile, you know?"_

_"It wouldn't be for long." _

_…."Jess, man, come on, you can't stay here." _

_"Why not?"_

_'Cause you can't."_

_"Why not?"_

_"'Cause you can't."_

_"Why not?" _

_"Because you can't."_

_..."If she says it's okay, then we'll see."_

_"Fine, we'll see."_

_"It may not work out."_

_"I totally understand."_

_"But I'll ask and if she says it's okay, then we'll see. We'll see."_

Jimmy and Sasha had talked it over. They had decided that it be best the Jimmy at least try to be the dad he never was, and let him stay with them.

Jess was glad, he didn't really have a second option, so if he hadn't been aloud to stay, he'd be the guy on the corner of the street begging for money. He really didn't want to be that guy, and more importantly, his ego couldn't take it.

He had stayed with Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily for many months, but couldn't stay much longer. He needed to go back home, New York- mind you- and work there. He could do something simple, live in an apartment, and get by enough to feed himself every once and awhile.

As Jess watched the sun go down, he thought about his mom. She would hate him for what he did to Luke and the town. Of course, she would soon forgive him, for he was her "baby boy."

He started walking back to his temporary home. He would say goodbye to Jimmy and Sasha, thank them for letting him stay. He would say goodbye to Lily, and give her a little extra something. His copy of _Franny and Zoey. _She had begged him for it, she just wanted to read all the notes he made in the margins. That was her favorite part of reading his books. The obscure notes that made no sense.

He said his goodbyes, and left. He took the bus again, for it's the best time and place to plan out his future. He read the whole way there, not taking his eyes of the number of books he had.

He made it to New York in a few days, found a crappy apartment that he shared with three guys, and became a messenger. _'But, hey,'_ he thinks, _'that's what I get for being a high school dropout.' _

He lives everyday thinking about the girl that got away and how he screwed her over. He knows he's never going to have a second chance. But oddly, he'll be okay with that. After all, he deserves it.

A/N: Ugh! I totally hate this story, but I'm still posting it. For god knows what reason. So, do your worst. I can take it.


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